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Ruben Verborgh

Email: Re: Contact the Data Protection Officer (DPO) #[case-number]

Ruben Verborgh <ruben@verborgh.org>
Facebook <case++[case-code]@support.facebook.com>
Stephen Deadman <stephendeadman@fb.com> and a couple of others
4 May 2019 at 15:58:09 GMT+2
Re: Contact the Data Protection Officer (DPO) #[case-number]

Hi Alex,

Have you heard the news? The world-famous philanthropist and all-round good guy nicknamed zuck has announced that the future is private.

Fascinating move, after 10 years of ripping any meaning out of the word “privacy”, to suddenly pretend you care about something you purposely broke.

Or to put it in the words of the Maestro himself: They trust me. Dumb fucks.

we are satisfied

I am sure you are. But be honest, you also were before I had mailed, no? It must be so very satisfying indeed to feel like you’re above the law and can just do whatever you please with people’s data. Enjoy that feeling while it lasts.

Unfortunately, this thread is more about customer satisfaction, and I am not really satisfied as your… customer…
Ah—I see what you did there. I’m actually the product, aren’t I?

Regardless of your definitions, I am a GDPR data subject and you are depriving me of my legal rights.

we provided an overview of the relevant provisions of the GDPR, together with relevant guidance and case law

To be fair, you provided a lot of nonsense that was not even remotely relevant.

Like your funny interpretation that you shouldn’t give people their data because the average person is too stupid to understand.

And also all the legal bla bla regarding raw data, which I did not even ask for. It’s like buying cheese and be given a lecture on why you cannot be sold a copy of Playboy magazine. Even though I’m 18+, mind you.

If you feel there is a specific personal data point missing from our Access Your Information or Download Your Information tool, please feel free to let us know.

Tons of them, Alex, tons of them. But you know what, that’s not a bad idea at all.

Let’s play this game data point by data point, to see how you will wriggle out yourself this time.

I am hereby requesting all my “Network and connections” data points, which you define as information such as the name of my mobile operator or ISP, language, time zone, mobile phone number, IP address, connection speed and, in some cases, information about other devices that are nearby or on my network, so you can do things like help me stream a video from my phone to my TV.

It is evident that such data is not meaningless to the average Facebook user so it is indeed consistent with your GDPR obligations. And guess what, you don’t need to provide it in in its original material form; any structured format of your preference will work.

And don’t tell be about how it’s excessive, because both you and I know this is just one query.

This request, and that goes without saying, of course does not invalidate my other more lengthy requests in which I have asked for many more pieces of data, all of which I will eventually obtain from you. I just figured that, by asking for them piece by piece, it is easier to put you on the spot.

you also have a right to lodge a complaint with the Irish Data Protection Commission

Don’t worry, I know my rights so much better than you do.

Satisfy me, Alex. Satisfy my legal rights.
And tell me if you are still satisfied then.

All the best,